<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>blinding lights by lilithscry</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23840878">blinding lights</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithscry/pseuds/lilithscry'>lilithscry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Constipation, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, and kenma is also a dumbass, dumbass duo, kuroo is a dumbass, so much pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:21:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23840878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithscry/pseuds/lilithscry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There had always been an unspoken connection between Kuroo and Kenma, and they knew it. They took advantage of knowing one another's unspoken cues.</p>
<p>But sometimes, things just happen to go over the head's of these two fools.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>blinding lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>alright! so this was meant to be something for kuroken week but it turned into an almost 6k piece of pining and self projection so yeah. it was my first time writing for these two so i am sorry if my characterisation is a bit wonky, i'm still working on it!!!! hope you guys enjoy &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They sat on his floor, limbs wrapped around one another despite the difference in size. The two tone-haired boy had his chin resting on the shoulder of his best friend as delicate fingers dwindled with the fabric of the other boy’s shirt, who in turn had his head buried away in the conjunction of Kenma’s neck and shoulder. It was deadly silent between them both except for the occasional sniffle that came from Kuroo. </p>
<p>Kenma could tell there was heaviness to Kuroo’s usually light and upbeat presence. He spotted it the moment the taller boy walked into his room, wide shoulders slouched and face void of anything besides the slight furrow of his eyebrows. Kenma had known him for years now to know that when Kuroo reverted to the state he was in, he had to be there for him. He had to be his rock. Hence why the controller to his Playstation remained unforgotten as the soft ambience of the game somewhat cracked through Kuroo’s weighted vibes. </p>
<p>He could feel the black hair of his best friend scratch against his cheek as he moved, the blocker pulling him closer. It was almost as though he was trying to hide from the world or completely disappear, Kenma noted and as much as he wanted to know what was going on, he decided against asking. He knew that he just needed to be there for him.</p>
<p>Yet, that didn’t stop Kenma from trying to muster a reason as to why Kuroo was so bothered and troubled. There were multiple things going on in their lives that could be deemed stressful. The end of the school year was nearing which meant Kuroo would graduate soon and be shipped off to the city for University, but Kenma knew he had been excited for the next chapter of his life. Maybe it was the stress that he knew would lead up to moving away. Entrance exams were around the corner and they were preparing to go to Nationals too, so any normal person would ultimately feel the stress, Kenma thought.</p>
<p>He simply closed his eyes to bask in the warmth that radiated from his friend, using this opportunity before he knew it’d be gone for a while. It was peaceful despite its circumstances. And while his legs were going numb from being criss-crossed around Kuroo and his chin hurt from sitting perched on top of his shoulders, Kenma knew he would not wish to have it any other way. </p>
<p>Just him and Kuroo, and Kuroo and him. </p>
<p>Even when the inevitable time comes where Kuroo goes to University and they don’t see one another as often as they always have, Kenma knows they’re there for one another.</p>
<p>As the uncomfortable pain in his chin started to become unbearable, Kenma quietly shifted to rest his cheek against Kuroo’s collar instead, his nose lightly rubbing against the skin of his friend’s neck. The familiar scent of Kuroo’s deodorant and body wash wafted through Kenma’s senses, a mixture of shea butter and citrus. It was always a weird mix, Kenma thought to himself while opening his eyes slightly, his gaze being met with the spot where Kuroo’s jaw and neck conjoined.</p>
<p>He felt his eyes wander, dragging over the expanse of the tan skin and seeing how it would tug and pull every time the blocker would either shift or gulp down the knot in his throat. A few freckles adorned his skin as well which in turn reminded Kenma of hot summer days spent at the park practicing tosses and spikes. Kuroo would usually come back home burnt to a crisp over his face and neck while Kenma would be fine, as he would actually remember to put on sunscreen. Nothing had changed much except now, Kenma would silently remind Kuroo by making sure to pass the bottle to him who in turn would smear a blob of the substance across his nose and yell <i>“Kenma looks like a lifeguard!”</i>.</p>
<p>Kenma inhaled deeply as he drew imaginary lines between each freckle with his eyes. He was making no particular shape as he was using this moment of silence to wash over his thoughts, one in particular hitting him like a wave.</p>
<p><i>Why do I enjoy being this close to Kuro?</i> </p>
<p>He knew why as every time the thought or idea would even cross his mind, he would bury it deep down in shame. He didn’t want to confront the obvious truth behind his own thoughts, knowing that if Kuroo found out it would ruin everything between them. Kenma couldn’t have that because as much as he hated to admit it, he needed Kuroo. The elder was his rock. Without Kuroo, Kenma would be living a completely different life that he could not imagine experiencing.</p>
<p>But, these feelings that had been bubbling up over the past year was unknown territory and it never helped that they were both close in a physical sense. Kuroo would cling on to Kenma during sleepovers, when he didn’t have his head stuck between two pillows at least. Kuroo would also be constantly feeding Kenma during the lunch period as a way to ensure that he was gaining enough nutrients and energy for practice. Then Kenma himself always found that he was clinging on to Kuroo’s arm when he was overwhelmed, and that was only covering the surface of their friendship. There was always an unspoken connection between the two that no one ever understood, which Kenma was glad about.</p>
<p>It was hard for Kenma to not feel <i>something</i>. They flowed perfectly around one another and knew each other’s quirks.</p>
<p>Kenma felt his face flush over with warmth as the back of his neck in particular warmed up. His now clammy hands still held on tight to Kuroo’s shirt as he suddenly started to become hyper aware of their positions. He was sitting in his lap, pressed up against his body as Kuroo held him that way and his nose practically resting on his neck. It felt very jarring despite Kenma knowing he was just relishing in the fact that they had positioned themselves this close.</p>
<p>Quickly pulling his face away from Kuroo’s neck, Kenma shifted and wiggled drastically to grab his friend’s attention. Which was successful as Kuroo moved to look down at Kenma almost instantly.</p>
<p>“Kenma, your face is really flushed.”</p>
<p>
  <i>Great.</i>
</p>
<p>“Ah...I just got really warm suddenly, sorry.”</p>
<p>Kuroo quickly shook his head to deflect his apology. “No, don’t worry!” The tense and troubled aura was almost instantly replaced with sorrow, regret and worry. It was almost like he had flipped a switch. “I’ll get you some water, hang on.”</p>
<p>He felt himself carefully slip off from Kuroo’s lap and onto his floor, his eyes watching every movement his friend made.</p>
<p>“It’s probably my fault anyway.” Kuroo admitted as he dug out his water bottle from his bag. “I didn’t even think about the heater being on, sorry.”</p>
<p>Kenma frowned slightly, grabbing at the bottle as it was passed to him. “Don’t blame yourself, it’s fine....” He mumbled before taking a sip, wondering as to why Kuroo had automatically pushed down his own problems to help his smaller and insignificant one.</p>
<p>They sat across from one another as Kenma tried his best to cool down and expel any of the thoughts he was just previously thinking as now the icky feeling that usually followed was settling in. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about his friend in that way, so why would it not stop? Why did he want to climb straight back into Kuroo’s lap and continue on with what they were doing?</p>
<p>He bit the inside of his cheek and dropped his head to look at the cap of the bottle, hiding his face behind his hair to avoid Kuroo’s worried look.</p>
<p>“Hey,” The other spoke softly while moving up to his feet. “I wanna go to the convenience store.” This grabbed Kenma’s attention, causing him to quickly crane his neck to look back up at him. “Want to come? You might need the cold to cool down.”</p>
<p>Kuroo plastered a grin over his face and held a hand out for him to grab, to which he accepted and felt himself be pulled up to his feet. He took another sip of water, grabbing his jacket that sat on the back of his desk chair before setting the bottle down. Turning to Kuroo, who had thrown his hoodie on and grabbed his bag, he motioned for him to go on ahead.</p>
<p>“I just need to grab a scarf.”</p>
<p>Receiving a thumbs up from Kuroo, he was left to quickly recollect his thoughts. Kenma shook his head to get rid of any current thoughts he had and tried to replace them with nothing as he has noticed over the past few years that sometimes it is better to just not think. Yet, as he rummaged through his school bag, Kenma couldn’t help but think back to how Kuroo instantly seemed to disregard his own problem the moment he noticed something was wrong with him.</p>
<p>Yes, Kenma knew Kuroo dotted over him more than he did with others. It was a given to their friendship, especially when it came to his health, but he knew that if he had tried to do the same that Kuroo would just wave him off. </p>
<p>Kenma felt the pout form on his lips, annoyance settling in when he couldn’t find his scarf. He cursed under his breath while getting up to search through his drawers, thinking his Mother may have accidentally folded it with some clothes. </p>
<p>“Kenma! Your scarf is down here!” He heard Kuroo call out to him from downstairs just before he had the chance to search through and mess up his organised clothes.</p>
<p>So, he shuffled out of his room, zipping up his jacket in the process and also closing his door. As he neared the top of the staircase, he saw Kuroo conversing with his Father, his large signature grin stretched across his cheeks with his scarf in one hand and the other holding on to the strap of his bag. They were chatting about god knows what, only stopping and drawing their attention away from one another when they heard Kenma making his way down the stairs. The taller boy dropped his scarf on top of his head, earning a dirty glare from Kenma which only fueled his shit eating grin more. </p>
<p>“Kuroo, you should have told us you were coming over. We would have made some extra food for you to have.”</p>
<p>Kenma kept quiet to listen in on the conversation, sliding past Kuroo to grab his sneakers off the shoe rack.</p>
<p>“Ah, sorry. It was a last minute trip over so I wasn’t really expecting it myself.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it, son.” Kenma’s Father exclaimed as he pat Kuroo on the shoulder, their slight height difference making it seem a bit odd. It was no surprise that Kenma was on the shorter side among kids nowadays, but he was just glad to know he got it from his Father. “Just as long as you're keeping yourself healthy. A growing young man like you needs it.”</p>
<p>He saw Kuroo’s sheepish look as he accepted the compliment with a smile and a thank you, so he decided to interrupt them to save Kuroo from any further embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Dad.” He interjected, once again grasping their attention with a blank look while he wrapped his scarf around his neck. “Stop complimenting him, his head will get too big.”</p>
<p>His Father let out a bark of a laugh as Kuroo scowled at him, opening his mouth to speak but only tripping over his words in the process. “H...Hey! No it won’t!”</p>
<p>“Will too.”</p>
<p>“Will not.”</p>
<p>“Will too.”</p>
<p>“Will not.”</p>
<p>Kenma shot him a look which ultimately told him to stop and hurry up, as seen when Kuroo bowed his head towards Kenma’s Father before waving goodbye to him. Both slipping their shoes on in silence, Kenma opened the door and was hit with the cold air almost instantly, making goosebumps rise over his skin right away.</p>
<p>
  <i>Why did I agree to leaving the house? Oh that’s right, I can never actually say no to Kuro.</i>
</p>
<p>Said older boy let out an obnoxiously loud yelp as the cold air hit him. “I cannot wait for Summer to finally come.” Kuroo commented, walking outside and waiting for him to follow behind him which he did just so a few moments later. He felt the warmth that radiated from his cheeks clash with the icy breeze. </p>
<p>He dug his nose into his scarf as they started to walk, Kuroo instantly being sent into a frenzy of light chatter while doing so. He spoke about his plans to go to the shrine for New Years Eve and then rambled on about Nationals. It was always this, that or the other when it came to Kuroo, so Kenma was waiting for him to make a passing comment about why he showed up at his house unexpectedly. </p>
<p>To be fair, he knew it wouldn’t come up in conversation but he only hoped it would. </p>
<p>So when it grew quiet between them both and their hands knocked against one another as they walked closely together, Kenma kept his nose tucked into his scarf while throwing the occasional glance towards Kuroo to gauge his mood. Initially he got nothing, only getting a view of Kuroo’s side profile which he couldn’t help but note how handsome his friend looked. His cheeks and nose slightly red from the cold air, contrasting with his tanned skin as the street lights above them occasionally casted shadows over his face.</p>
<p>It made Kenma blush and so he hastily grabbed for his phone to distract himself. Silent walks were a common occurrence with the two, Kuroo usually mumbling to himself about plans for practice and his school work, and Kenma fiddling on his phone or DS. So this wasn’t too out of the question for them both. Yet, Kenma not only felt like crap because of the way he was thinking about his friend, but he also felt a piercing stare bore holes into his head. He knew it was from Kuroo, who else would it have been from? Unless they were being followed but Kenma knew it was less than likely.</p>
<p>His eyes dragged themselves off his phone for a split second to meet Kuroo’s, who was not surprisingly and in no way subtly at all, was looking at Kenma. It made Kenma swallow the knot forming in this throat before he tried to speak.</p>
<p>“If...you’re going to stare at me, at least don’t be so creepy about it.” He half joked in his usual monotonous voice.</p>
<p>From the corner of his eye, he watched Kuroo stiffen and fumble over his composure. It was cute, Kenma noted as a small smirk sketched itself across his face which was thankfully concealed by the fabric of his scarf.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t staring at you.”</p>
<p>“It sure felt like it--”</p>
<p>“Ah, look!” Kuroo cut Kenma off loudly while reaching out for his arm. “The convenience store! Let’s hurry inside, my nose feels like it’ll fall off any second now.”</p>
<p>Feeling Kuroo’s tight grip around his forearm, he followed (more like was dragged) behind him into the warm store. The fluorescent lights hurt Kenma’s eyes slightly as the contrast was stark compared to the dimmed lights from outside. </p>
<p>Music played softly over the speakers, the distant sound of the cashier scanning a customer’s things blending in with it. There were a few other people in the store, Kenma noted before he quickly sent his Mother a message asking if she needed anything while also shrugging off Kuroo’s grip on his arm. He still followed closely behind him though and kept an eye on his phone for any notification he could possibly receive from his Mother.</p>
<p>“What do you even have to get?” Kenma questioned softly, his voice muffled by his scarf.</p>
<p>They both stopped in the middle of the cleaning essentials aisle. Kenma saw him grab at a bottle of dishwashing detergent to inspect it. “Dad wanted me to grab a few things earlier but it slipped my mind…” He mumbled out, concentrating on the label of the bottle. “Plus it’s nice to go out for a walk at night.”</p>
<p>Kenma simply scrunched up his nose in disagreement. “Not when it’s this cold.”</p>
<p>Seeing Kuroo glance down at him before he huffed out a laugh caused Kenma’s stomach to flutter slightly. If he could, he would punch that stupid grin off his face right this moment. “You didn’t have to come, y’know.”</p>
<p>He hesitated because points were made and Kenma did not like it. “Well...I think it’s just a given I come along at this point, right?”</p>
<p>Kuroo raised an eyebrow, not giving it long before he gave his attention back to the bottle of detergent. “I guess you’re right…”</p>
<p>Usually, the banter between the two would be light hearted fun but right now, it feels like a tonne of bricks just crashed on to Kenma. He knew it was not a big deal, Kuroo was not exactly in the best of moods after all but Kenma felt put off over the fact that he just did not know why the aura around Kuroo was off. It bugged him a lot, and even when he tried to distract himself by reading the list he received from his Mother, he could not help keeping a close eye on Kuroo.</p>
<p>Fortunately, the elder was immersed in observing products.</p>
<p>Kenma mumbled about grabbing a few of his own things to which Kuroo just responded with a hum. He walked to the snack section, searching for the chips he knew his Mother liked the most before moving on to grab some juice, milk and a carton of eggs. He carefully balanced them around the eggs, obviously not wanting to drop them, and waited for Kuroo by the counter after paying. </p>
<p>Spacing out, Kenma simply stared at whatever was in front of him which just happened to be a stand that was advertising a new chocolate bar. Yet, he paid no attention to the sweets and instead felt overwhelmed with his thoughts once more which was nothing new ever but tonight it was especially tiring. Multiple times in the past hour had he racked his brain for what could have been going on and still <i>nothing</i>. It ate away at him, guilt starting to settle in as well because he’s Kuroo’s best friend. He should know what is wrong with his best friend the instant he sees him, so what was so different about today?</p>
<p>It was like Kuroo had put up an extra barrier and it pissed Kenma off because, <i>what did he have to hide from Kenma?</i> They told one another everything and--</p>
<p>“You want one?”</p>
<p>He was dragged out from his bubble by Kuroo, who was staring at him along with the cashier. Kenma halted for a moment before shaking his head. “It’s fine...I don’t want you to pay for it anyway.”</p>
<p>His comment ripped a laugh out from Kuroo, his shoulders shaking along with his deep chuckle. “You know I’m fine to pay--”</p>
<p>“Kuro.”</p>
<p>Kenma tried to stop him, frowning up at him as he simply ignored his protests and looked at what options there were.</p>
<p>“I’ll take the apple danish and an extra bag for my friend, thank you. He seems to be having trouble balancing everything”</p>
<p>The cashier nodded, obviously just wanting to get the two bickering friends out of the store as he placed the sweet pastry in a container. Kuroo paid and Kenma stared at the danish with intense eyes while his items were packed into a plastic bag.</p>
<p>After thanking one another, except Kenma who just kept quiet, they were both back outside once more. Kenma was stuffing his phone back into his pocket when Kuroo held out the pastry bag towards him, a small smile on his face and God, he felt a little weak.</p>
<p>
  <i>Why am I extra...like this tonight? I hate it.</i>
</p>
<p>“I know it isn’t apple pie, but we tried.”</p>
<p>Kenma stared up at him before carefully taking the bag from him. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“No problem.” Kuroo responded while shoving his hands into his pockets to keep them warm. “Do you wanna eat it here on the bench in the freezing winter cold, or go home?”</p>
<p>“What do you think?”</p>
<p>Feigning a deep thoughtful look, Kuroo scrunched up half and inhaled before exhaling deeply. “I don’t know, I’m getting the vibe you want to sit on this frozen bench.”</p>
<p>A split second of a pause and Kenma turned away to walk back home, ultimately leaving Kuroo. “I’m going home, goodnight Kuro.”</p>
<p>The elder sputtered and scrambled to take his usual spot by Kenma’s side once more. “You act like I don’t just live next door!” God how he wished he could just slip into the void and manifest his presence back home. Anything to save him from catching his own heart beating faster at every dumb thing Kuroo said or did. </p>
<p>Both walking in silence once more, Kenma noticed the gap between them both. While still close to one another, it was bigger than usual and it felt odd. It made the bite from the cold air more harsh than usual, Kenma thought at least. Unless it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but he was so used to practically being able to feel Kuroo’s warmth radiate off of him that it felt unusual. </p>
<p>His bags rustled against his leg, effectively knocking around his items and danish. He hoped it didn’t bash his dessert around too much as nothing was more disappointing than eating a pastry that had been squashed and rattled around. </p>
<p>Kenma tried to not think about it too much, instead choosing to pick up his earlier thoughts from when he was in the convenience store. Thoughts as to why Kuroo was being unusually standoffish and was not even giving a hint as to why he was in a bad mood, especially since they did tell one another <i>everything</i>. </p>
<p>He knew if it had to do with Nationals or University, he would have just said it was that and nothing else. Plus, as Kenma had observed earlier in his room, Kuroo had been excited for these upcoming weeks despite the stress that came along with it. That is what Kuroo loved about it. It was a challenge he had to face. So, Kenma racked his brain for more, crossing things out such as petty arguments with Yaku or a fumble he could have possibly made at practice as those were things he got over quickly. </p>
<p>Then it hit Kenma like a punch to the face. It either had to do with his Grandparents or his Mother, whom Kenma had never met but had heard some things about. Albeit, they were not positive as Kuroo doesn’t remember much of his Mother, but it was enough to leave a sour taste in Kenma’s mouth. And with his Grandparents starting to become much older by the day, it could be possible that they received bad news. That also left a taste in Kenma’s mouth that he couldn’t recognise. </p>
<p><i>What if his Mum is trying to get back into contact with him?</i> He thought, eyes darting up to look at Kuroo’s face, which was relaxed and distant. <i>I couldn’t imagine how terrifying that would be...God, I don’t even know what I could do to help him…</i></p>
<p>He hadn’t noticed he stopped walking, until Kuroo called out to him. At first he didn’t respond, opting to keep his gaze fixated to the cement ground until the sight of Kuroo’s feet blocked it. Kenma pulled his eyes upwards to face him, staring intensely at the taller boy which in turn made the other blink back at him. </p>
<p>“What’s wr—”</p>
<p>“What has happened?”</p>
<p>Kuroo was stunned, from what Kenma could tell at least. He blinked, gulped and looked away to avoid Kenma’s knowing stare which could be terrifying at times. “I don’t know what you mean.”</p>
<p>
  <i>Bullshit.</i>
</p>
<p>“Kuro.”</p>
<p>There was a beat. Kenma had caught and cornered him, they both knew that with the way they caught eyes. Now it was just up to Kuroo to actually tell him about what was going on. </p>
<p>“If it’s about your Grandparents…” Kenma paused for a second, bringing up a hand to move his scarf away from his face. “...or your Mum...You can tell me...You don’t have to say everything but I feel like I can’t do anything if I don’t know.”</p>
<p>That felt like a lot for Kenma to say as words were never his strong suit, but it had been bubbling up for the past two hours now. He could not help but spill out, even if it was awkward. </p>
<p>Kenma gulped and awaited for Kuroo’s answer, never not once breaking his gaze. </p>
<p>In contrast, Kuroo’s eyes had widened as he clearly was taken back. That was when Kenma had realised they stopped directly underneath a street lamp, the bright light cascading down on to them and creating shadows on their faces. He saw the shadows shape Kuroo’s face, allowing emphasis on his sharp features such as his cheekbones and the slant of his nose and God, Kenma could not get over how handsome he looked. He had always known him as the gangly kid next door that was overbearing once he came out of his shell and had this insane hairstyle that when he found out it was not purposely styled the way it was, he sort’ve respected it. Now, they were approaching adulthood and had both grown up. Kuroo looked his age while Kenma was often mistaken as a middle schooler, thanks to his rounder face.</p>
<p>Some part of Kenma was never surprised that he grew romantic feelings towards Kuroo, as much as he hated admitting it to himself. The change that happened from middle school to high school shifted a lot of things. Yes, even when Kenma was in his last year of middle school he saw Kuroo every day, but as soon as he entered high school he noticed different things about his elder.</p>
<p>Like the way he had started to grow into his awkward-lanky young teen body, and how while he started to make friends with others, he stuck by Kenma’s side no matter what. Then the jokes about them acting like a couple started to pile in, especially during practice, and from there on Kenma spiralled to where he was today.</p>
<p>Standing outside at god knows what time, too busy staring at the face of his crush/best friend as the air grew more cold by the minute. </p>
<p>“What makes you think I’m upset about my Mum?” Kuroo asked quietly.</p>
<p>Kenma just shrugged slightly. “I don’t know...usually you’re quick to tell me about what is bothering you that I thought...if she was involved then you wouldn’t want to involve me.”</p>
<p>He heard Kuroo hum in response, slowly dropping his head to stare at the ground while also trying to determine the vibe he was getting from him. “Well, it’s a good thing she hasn’t bothered reaching out to me or Dad because I don’t even know how I would react to that...As for Grandma and Grandpa, they’re still fine and healthy.” He paused. Kenma noticed he spun on his heel to turn around, his obvious intention to continue walking. “So, everything is alright...It’s fine…”</p>
<p>His eyebrows furrowed at Kuroo’s half assed attempt to reassure him. He could feel himself getting angry now, which was rare. </p>
<p>So, he reached forward to grab at Kuroo’s hand, stopping him from continuing to walk home. The elder’s hands were warm compared to his, despite him not being as nearly as rugged up as he was. Meeting Kuroo’s eyes once more, he gritted his teeth and scrunched up his face in anger. “So what is it then?”</p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>“What is bothering you so much then? For once I can’t tell what it is and...  I feel terribly guilty about it.”</p>
<p>Kuroo’s eyes quickly flashed down to where their hands were connected before meeting Kenma’s again. Suddenly his face relaxed and softened as he smiled, yet it was unsettling. It was almost as though he looked disappointed in himself. “It is honestly fine Kenma, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“But--”</p>
<p>“It is something I have to deal with on my own and I definitely do not want to weird you out with it.”</p>
<p>Feeling the larger slip out from his grip, Kenma’s hand knocked against his leg which also made his bag do the same. However, the danish was the least of his worries. “Weird me out? Kuro, we have known each other long enough to not weird each other out.”</p>
<p>Light laughter from Kuroo filled the air at Kenma’s statement. “You’re right but...I just--”</p>
<p>“You just what?”</p>
<p>A beat and a pause. </p>
<p>They stood alone, under the spotlight and in their own bubble. Kenma would not have a clue as to whether or not people had walked past them as all that was on his mind was Kuroo. Then when the messy haired senior spoke, he did so with such a quiet voice that Kenma could not remember the last time Kuroo had spoken quietly to him. It reminded him of those first few weeks they hung out together over summer, just before the new school year started. Timid, withdrawn and unconfident. The opposite of what Kuroo was today.</p>
<p>“I just...can’t suddenly drop the news that I like--” He cut himself off with a shake of his head. “No, <i>love</i>. I can’t just suddenly drop the news that I love my best friend and be that person.”</p>
<p>Kenma heard ringing in his ears. Well, at least he thought he did. There was a lot going on in his brain right at that moment so he could not really pinpoint if it was ringing, white noise or just absolutely nothing at all. Instead he watched Kuroo’s lips move as he continued to talk, even if he wasn’t actually registering what the other was saying. All he could tell was that Kuroo was very, very embarrassed by all of this, if the blush on his cheeks and the guilty look on his face were any sort of pinpoint. </p>
<p>
  <i>Holy shit...he...wait what? But--</i>
</p>
<p>“If I’m honest, this is one of those times I wish you knew how to articulate your words Kenma because this is making me very nervous right now.”</p>
<p>
  <i>I wish for that too so I could tell you how I feel right now…</i>
</p>
<p>Before he knew it, he had dropped both plastic bags onto the ground and strided over to Kuroo, not saying a word and taking the other off guard. All Kenma did though was stare up at him though, in hopes that Kuroo would get what he was saying through his desperate expression. </p>
<p>It seemed to have taken him a second, but when he saw Kuroo’s stressed expression change between surprised and happy in a matter of seconds, Kenma let out a huff of a chuckle before grabbing his hand once more. He knew he was better at showing how he felt through physical gestures. As embarrassing as it was but if he could tell Kuroo how he truly felt through a simple touch of the hand and one simple expression, then he would consider himself the smartest boy in history.</p>
<p>Luckily, it went in his favour.</p>
<p>“Kenma.”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>He saw Kuroo gulp nervously, something he had never expected in a situation like this. Actually no that was a lie, Kenma had imagined this scenario out before and it went similar to this, just without the dramatics. </p>
<p>“Can I kiss you?”</p>
<p>The million dollar question Kenma had been waiting for. Any other time, he would scrunch his nose up at the thought or sight of people kissing as any sort of public display of affection made him feel sick. But, there was something different about this. Maybe it was the fact that he had thought about kissing Kuroo for well over a year now, he would never know so he nodded slowly. No words needed.</p>
<p>Kenma felt the hand he was holding move up to place itself on his cheek, so he shifted his own hand to rest it on top of Kuroo’s. He felt nervous, which he thought was weird as would you not want your first kiss to be with your childhood best friend?</p>
<p>Everything felt like it was moving slowly, so when Kuroo’s lips met his and he felt that little spark he had heard people describe, Kenma was thrown back into normal time as his heart rate skyrocketed. He closed his eyes, moving his free hand to replicate what Kuroo had done and placed it on his cheek while also leaning up slightly to kiss back. And to also take the pressure off of Kuroo’s back, obviously. </p>
<p>It was short and sweet, something Kenma preferred over the prolonged kisses he usually saw on the television or in manga. When they pulled apart, they both looked at one another before Kuroo jumped back in embarrassment. Kenma felt his own blush start to arise on his cheeks as he still felt that little spark tingle his lips slightly, having to stop himself from touching them to avoid further embarrassment.</p>
<p>Then when he looked back up at Kuroo, who was in not much of a better state then he was, he couldn’t help the smile that etched across his face. He felt like he was in some cliche movie, especially with the street lamp serving as a boujee spotlight.</p>
<p>He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the rustling of plastic bags, not noticing that Kuroo had moved to grab his bags for him. When Kuroo looked back at him, Kenma could tell that the uneasy-tense weight that he had been carrying around with him all night was finally gone. It was evident in the way Kuroo grinned at him.</p>
<p>“Should we get you home?” He asked, walking up to Kenma. “By the way, your danish is totally inedible now.”</p>
<p>Kenma held back a chuckle, silently grasping Kuroo’s free hand. “Firstly, I told you not to buy me that danish…” He started while also prompting him to walk. “Also...stay over tonight, I actually have a lot to ask you.”</p>
<p>Glancing up at him, Kenma saw Kuroo’s grin grow wider as he let out a sarcastic chuckle. “It’s okay Kenma, you can just say you want to spend more time with me now that we’re boyfriends.”</p>
<p>“I never said we were boyfriends.”</p>
<p>Kuroo fumbled over his laugh before then stuttering. “K...Kenma...why are you so blunt?”</p>
<p>“Also, why would you try to confide about your crush to your crush without actually mentioning your crush?”</p>
<p>Continuing his pace, Kenma saw that he was glossing over the question before simply shrugging.</p>
<p>“I don’t know...Guess you’ll never find out.”</p>
<p>Kenma simply rolled his eyes, looking ahead once more as the feeling of content washed over him peacefully. He was happy, and knew he would be for a long time.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>